Episode 119: Conversation with Rachel Ruis (Part 1)
"There's a way to be determined, which is stubborn in a good way, where we say: We're not gonna quit. We're not gonna back down. We're gonna keep going…Doing what God has called us to do, even when it sucks, even when we don't feel like it." -Jason Ruis
Summary of This Episode
Rachel Ruis grew up in a very religious family. Her parents were both strong Catholics and expected her to attend church every Sunday. She attended Catholic school from kindergarten all the way through high school, starting in a small Catholic school with only twelve to fifteen kids, then transferring to a larger high school with around 150 in her class. She was taught many traditions of prayer and devotion, such as praying to saints, Eucharist and communion, and confession. Growing up this way was normal for her because everyone around her was doing the same thing. Despite the differences between Catholic schools and public schools, she enjoyed growing up in this faith-filled environment.
Rachel and her sister visited a Christian Reformed Church for the first time and experienced something very different from their Catholic upbringing - communion where everyone passed around their own cups and bread. Rachel was surprised by this new experience and questioned if it was right. When Rachel and Jason were engaged, Rachel's mother had concerns about the culture of the Christian Reformed Church due to a misunderstanding about its practices. She feared that it might be a cult, but Rachel has since realized that it's simply a tight-knit community of people who share similar values. Despite any initial fears, Rachel is now comfortable in the Christian Reformed Church and enjoys being part of such a close-knit community.
Rachel and I discuss the taboo of Dutch Catholics and Dutch Reformed people marrying one another. We reflect on how they were young and naive when we got married. They ended up attending separate churches, which caused tension in their marriage. Eventually, both of us felt convicted by the Holy Spirit to start attending church more often and studying the Bible. It was Bible Study that opened our eyes to a deeper understanding of our faith. This led us to continue learning and growing in our faith. We baptized our third daughter in the Christian Reformed Church which caused some turmoil in Rachel's family. This experience ultimately opened the door for conversations about faith with Rachel's family.
We take time to discuss some positive aspects of the Christian Reformed Church (CRC). We appreciate that the CRC emphasizes the Word of God and has an outsized impact for such a small denomination. Rachel talks about how she appreciates how older Dutch ladies in their church bring meals when there is a baby and are welcoming, hardworking, and good homemakers. We have experienced hospitality and discipleship from many of these faithful Dutch women.
We also talk about how we were able to learn from Christian parents while we were in their early twenties. We read books and magazines to try and do everything perfectly when it came to parenting, but it was nice to see another family that wasn't trying to be perfect. We go on to talk about our own marriage and how even though we were young, our stubbornness in the right ways is what made our marriage successful. We mention that one of these things was not talking bad about each other to anyone else.
Rachel discusses her experience with children's ministry in the Christian Reformed Church. She expresses her frustration with the lack of theology in the material used for teaching; instead, it focuses on Bible stories. She expresses appreciation for the "Children in Worship" program which incorporates multiple senses and sounds to help children better understand and engage with worship. She believes this program does a good job of giving children a sense of wonder, but also believe that it is important to give them an answer when they have questions.
Rachel has noticed that although the stories started out strong, they often left the kids wanting more by not finishing the story. She wants to avoid leaving children in a state of 'wonder' in which they don't finish the story or point out the end. Ministry leaders must make sure stories are well-developed and reach a proper conclusion. This will help ensure that children understand and learn from the stories being told, rather than just being given a small taste without any clear resolution.