Episode 262: The Communication Problem Every Church Has — Roger Sparks & Harv Roosma (Part 2)
“…If people are worried that the people they don’t trust are going off the deep end in terms of loving and wanting to follow the Scriptures…you have to…remind each other…hopefully, they are wanting to be loyal to the Bible. Some of their fears may be unfounded…Talk to each other instead of about each other…And then pray, pray, pray…Get people to pray together…for each other and not just about each other.” —Roger Sparks
Summary of This Episode
On this episode of The Messy Reformation, we pick up part two of the roundtable with Revs. Harv Roosma and Roger Sparks, Specialized Transitional Ministers (STMs) in the CRCNA. While not every church that an STM is called into is a “problem church,” there are some. As we’ve heard the role of the STM is listening and helping, including being equipped for difficult conversations, Jason asks about churches that aren’t as ready as they might have thought to engage those conversations. Harv offers the wisdom of when that happens, it takes some time, trust, and persistence. Both he and Roger note there are times when disagreement arises. Roger shares, “…One of our goals is…if people disagree, I want them to understand why they disagree and why the other person sees things their way.” While they’re not always able to nurture that understanding or trust, it’s a beautiful thing when successful.
Jason follows up by asking what some of the common issues that STMs regularly encounter are. Roger kicks it off with one that’s “easy”—communication. When people aren’t trusting or talking with each other in a church, there’s likely to be problems. Harv adds to that significant decline in attendance, gender matters, undertrained leadership, and ambiguity of vision. All, or at least many, of these can tie back into communication and trust issues. So, Jason asks how churches can work on trust, to which Roger responds essentially you have to care about the person you’ve had differences with. “…If people are worried that the people they don’t trust are going off the deep end in terms of loving and wanting to follow the Scriptures…you have to…remind each other…hopefully, they are wanting to be loyal to the Bible. Some of their fears may be unfounded…Talk to each other instead of about each other…And then pray, pray, pray…Get people to pray together…for each other and not just about each other.”
We hear a lot about the difficult situations, and so Willy asks what the joys of being an STM are. Harv names first the relationships that are nurtured quickly and “developing trust and helping people to talk honestly,” including about such important things as forgiveness. Roger adds to that the joy, or honor, of being someone who others share their troubles, trials, and joys to. Following up on Harv’s point, “You come as strangers, and through the miracle of the gospel and fellowship, you leave as friends…That’s a great joy, I love it.”
Dan invites Harv and Roger to give some advice to those of us pastors who are in traditional pastorates: what should we be doing so that our churches can avoid becoming a church that needs an STM in the future? Roger encourages honesty and communication—it can be that simple. If there are problems, go and talk to that person. He adds, “Don’t give people a stick to hit you with…If you say something, follow through, be consistent…And love the Bible and love people…They’re going to know…to sense that.” Harv encourages pastors and churches to “…continue clarifying vision…keep that sharp…make sure that there is a gospel focus.” He reiterates the basics of training leadership, addressing issues, communication, and accountability. If pastors humbly focus on these things while relying on the Holy Spirit, it goes a long way.
Jason picks up on the communication thread and encourages elders and deacons, not just pastors, to seek good communication. Roger shares one of the principal things is transparency and for councils to understand the majority of their work is public. Willingness to be transparent shows the people they’re loved. Jason builds on that, “If the congregation feels like the council is hiding information from them, then they lose trust and trust is really hard to get back.” Harv also shares the strategy of moving from accusatorial thinking when there’s disagreement to thinking about solutions and the potential benefit of listening groups.
That brings us to the end of our episode and the opportunity for final words. Roger shares, “Don’t think of [an STM’s help] as a stigma…a black mark against you. Look at it as a way that God is providing for some stability, hopefully, and leadership in a time of transition in the life of a church…The resources are there, and we just want to be a blessing to the churches that we help out in.” Harv builds on that , “When churches have had [an STM], they see that as a positive experience…a good thing…a healthy thing, and it can be a really, really joyful time.” He also encourages celebrating the good things that are happening in our churches and denomination with what God is doing and where he’s taking us. Jason adds a closing plug to any pastors who may be considering becoming STMs, to reach out to Roger or Harv, or to Thrive.